thickeningthoughts

Final Blog Assignment - Take Away

2009-08-28T03:46:00.000-07:00

I was asked to write a piece for the volunteer newsletter here at Janaagraha about "what's in it for me" and I thought it was quite fitting for this blog assignment.

I came to Janaagraha with a list of goals, measurable in their success, but as always it is the things you cannot measure that come to mean the most. The cracks in the sidewalk may seem narrow but they go deep. As is my experience at Janaagraha. I walked along the path and learned much along the way but it was the challenges, the cracks, I faced personally and professionally, that have given depth to this experience. Working with the Jaago Re team was a wonderful experience. The passion and enthusiasm of the team was contagious and the warmth and sincerity they personified brought so much joy to my time with them and confidence in the work they are doing. I have come to learn, understand and accept that mistakes happen. Work, as is life, is a learning process. I feel that although I have made mistakes along the way there was a sense of encouragement that has led to increased faith in myself and my abilities. I have recognized the value of differing opinions and the challenges it can present when working together. But I have also come to see that honest and real discussion, not being afraid to put your thoughts and ideas out there, allows for ideas to come together and flourish. Lastly this experience for me has been one of self reflection where I have had to be honest with myself, about myself. A critical look at the work I have done has led me to realize both my strengths and weaknesses and pushed me to face both and learn from them. I came to Janaagraha with a list of goals, but I leave with a list of experiences that cannot be measured in their value.

Assignment four: tourist?

2009-07-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

tourist: person who visits places for pleasure and interest, especially when he/she is on holiday.

when i first arrived at janaagraha there was an intern that was finishing up her work here and was leaving. she had a night out to wish her off and then she was gone. i remember on this evening a coworker mentioned to me how they have to make themselves cold, otherwise it hurts too much, having all of these people come and go. to bond with someone and then have them leave you again and again. a few weeks later i teased another coworker as i was leaving the office for the day not to miss me too much and he replied with a sigh, i am still missing "intern who left a couple weeks ago". these comments have made me wonder about my role here. dipping my feet into water to check the temperature and then back out again. the water is affected but i never really considered how. how far do those ripples go? how long do they tarnish the smooth surface? this may be a cop out answer but i dont know if i am a tourist. in some ways i think yes, i mean i am here out of interest, pleasure, to experience life in another place, i observe. and then i think no, i am here to work, i live routinely, i have friends and a life. but really the lines are blurred. either way you have an impact on those around you. how do you impact those around you differently as a tourist vs. an expat? three months is short, really short. in many ways it is just a tour, a tour in the life of an expat. so perhaps i am a tourist of the world of living abroad. i am brought back to what my coworker said about having to make himself cold. this has sat with me for a while now and i am really bothered by it. how can this be negotiated? i wonder if the situation was reversed would i feel the same? tourists often shape the places they visit, foods, hotels, landscapes and lifestyles are shaped for them. is this not the same? but on a more intimate level? are the hearts of those you live and work with not shaped by your presence? i have been a tourist before, and i have lived abroad before and i knew after a very short period of travelling that i much preferred living abroad then travelling. there is a disconnection from the world around you that takes place as a tourist, reality is often skewed. then again as a expat the same is likely to happen, who is it that you are connected to? how much do you know about the life the average person? my heart is affected to, but it is always easier to leave then to be left. while i can draw some clear distinctions on a superficial level between a tourist and an expat, perhaps under the surface they have more in common then i would like to believe. i am going to ask some of my coworkers about this, to see what their perception is.

2009-07-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

Assignment three: Adapting

suddenly its 11pm and i have to think about getting home. perhaps i should have mulled this over earlier. taking an autorickshaw is an option and i have done it before, its a risk though and i can easily end up... well id rather not go there. i took an auto a couple weeks ago, it was around 9pm, i bargained a little and as we began driving i realized he was on something, drunk perhaps, i really am not sure, he then proceeds to pull over and tell me he's out of gas and demands more than we agreed upon, i argue with him a bit unsure of what to do as he pulled over randomly and i am still quite far from my destination, i hand him the amount on the metre and he grabs it unhappily and goes up to a food stand. alright then i had better find another auto. i do and i reach my destination safely, thank god. this is definitely the most challenging adaptation i have to make. in canada i am used to being able to go home without a thought in my mind as to my safety. it is a privilege that i will always appreciate. i do not always have to take a rickshaw home, often my coworkers generosity is overwhelming and they will drive me home when it is well out of their way. i appreciate this beyond what i can say here. but this dependence is something i have not felt in years, and readapting to this is challenging. as a woman here life is dependent on men and this is something i have noticed on many levels but certainly the reaches of ones freedom is one and for me going out at night stretches that boundary. i have gone home early because i am concerned about getting home later, this is part of adapting for me.

others include but are not limited to,

sub-par coffee, eating out all the time, being stared at, the kindness of those who really have no reason to be kind to me, spicy food, dressing nicely for work, working in an office, working saturdays, spending alot of time on the toilet, not being able to communicate with people, being dependent on others to help me communicate (so i suppose a loss of independence on several levels has been a huge adaptation i have had to make), and being patient with different interpretations of time.

i enjoy this process of adapting, although it can be challenging at times, i would never say no to an opportunity to do so.

Assignment two: Context

2009-07-14T21:36:00.000-07:00

I am in Bangalore, Karnataka, India. I have been living a room in an Indian family’s home, I have an attached bathroom but there is no kitchen. Food is cheap here so I usually just eat out. The family’s kitchen is right beside my room and I can smell the food that is being cooked, sometimes I enjoy the smells and it makes me hungry while other times, I just end up feeling nauseous. I used to get up early, I would drag the wicker chair in my room onto the balcony and make tea and read. Lately I have been sleeping in though, and have not done this for awhile. I walk to work every morning, it takes me about 15 to 20 minutes. I love the walk; the mornings in Bangalore are cool. I walk along a busy one way street where the motorcycles and even a car or two don’t seem to acknowledge this fact and it often seems like a cramped two way street. Horns seem like another language, one you have to learn quickly if you are to survive crossing the streets. Giant billboards scream out for attention as I get closer to work, currently the largest one depicts four young white men and women sitting in a hot spring bath naked except for the plaid ‘jockeys’ they are holding up to ‘cover’ their bodies. Everyday I wonder what people think when they see that. Across the street from work there is a French cultural centre, where I often get a coffee and a croissant before starting my day. Coffee is only 25 cents! I wish it was that cheap in Canada, sigh. Work starts at 10:00am. I sit in a cubicle with two other interns beside me, Vyasa to my right, who is a law student from NYU, and Neeharika to my left who is studying international relations at the University of Michigan. They are both lovely company, and wonderful distractions. I am working in research under a woman named Nandita. I did not really have any proper assignments until I started to help with a questionnaire that was being put together for a post-poll survey. I started working with a coworker, named Asim, who I have now basically been getting all of my work from as Nandita is not really around and didn’t have anything for me to do. I have been working on two major projects which have been interspersed with small random assignments. The research I am conducting is for a campaign called One Billion Voters. It is a campaign that seeks to engage youth in the social and political process in the hopes of building a stronger democracy. Lunch is at 1:00 and there is usually a large group of us who go out to eat, there are tons of great restaurants nearby and the food is so yummy. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I skip lunch with the group and head over to the French cultural centre where I am taking Kannada classes. Kannada is the local language here. There are about 15 of us in the class, about six other foreigners mostly from France, and one from Mauritius. Bangalore is interesting because it has a huge migrant population, one of my coworkers mentioned that only around 15% of the population speaks Kannada! There are apparently more Tamil speakers in Bangalore as the border to Tamil Nadu is only 40km. The teacher is hilarious and I find myself spending most of the class trying not to giggle excessively. This is the first Kannada class they offer at Alliance Française, and they really made a big deal out of it. CNN came and filmed us and we were in one of the newspapers. I wondered if it was the only Kannada class offered in the city and that was why they were making such a big deal, but no that’s not the case. My afternoons are spent trying not to go crazy sitting in my cubicle I have been sitting in the lobby in the afternoons doing work just for a change of scenery. I think this has been my biggest challenge at work, just sitting there all day, in the same spot its really difficult. Work ends at 6:00, after work there is usually something going on, I either hang out with some of the other interns or coworkers go for dinner, a concert, a movie, or out for drinks. The nightlife in Bangalore is quite interesting. The bars all close at 11:30pm. So everyone always starts drinking early, at around 6 or 7pm. There is one bar in particular that is unique as there are no table and its open to outside, people just stand around and drink, really cheap liquor. It is actually one of the few places where alcohol is so cheap, one dollar for a beer. Everywhere else the prices are insanely expensive not only by Indian standards but by Canadian ones as well. I’ve been to places where a cocktail is $10! Another thing that is interesting about going out here is that several times my coworkers and I have been the only females in the bar, everyone else is a man. Getting home is usually interesting as it involves bargaining with an autowallah, something I do not always enjoy. Sleep comes surprisingly easy, as I am usually quite exhausted by the end of the day.

Ps. If you remember from my last post about the vehicle that backed up to the titanic theme song, well this happens to be something quite common, not necessarily the titanic song, but in general you can get your ‘back up beep’ customized. Last week I heard a vehicle backing up to the wedding march! I will keep you updated with any other interesting songs I hear!

Culture: First Blog Assignment

2009-06-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

This past Friday, I attended an eco-planning conference put on by a partner organization of Janaagraha called India Urban Space (IUSP). Lunch took place in a large tent outside, where there were several booths set up from which you could “line up” and be served food, sort of a buffet style. I put “line up” in quotations because it was hardly a line up at all with people pushing one another to get ahead and budding in front each other aggressively thrusting their plates forward in order to be fed. There were even people who had already eaten and came back to the front of the line to get seconds before others had even been served! So there I was standing in “line” with a coworker and he commented that we needed to be more aggressive otherwise we would never make it to the front. A discussion ensued about line ups and how in Canada people really freak out if you bud in line. I asked him why he thought people felt the need to be so aggressive, when obviously everyone was going to be fed at some point or another. He responded by saying that from a young age people here have to fight for everything, if you don’t fight for it you wont get it. I began to consider why it is that people line up in Canada. What is our motivation for order? (I am still not completely sure of the answer to this so if you have any ideas please feel free to share).

I use this example to explain that for me it is through contrast that I am able to see my culture beneath the surface. The individualistic mentality of family and relationships where separation from those around you is expected, even embraced, and dependence is seen as weakness vs. the integrated family life in India, where everyone has at least a dozen ‘aunties’ and children live at home until they are married. It is funny because even as I write this I consider my anglophone mother and my francophone father and the differences between my extended families on both sides. I feel conflicted by which world, or rather culture I belong to. Growing up I thoroughly enjoyed the sense of community I derived from my French heritage, but always felt like I slid into my mother’s world more easily, perhaps because that is what primarily surrounded me, anglophone Canada. Okay now I am getting off topic. Back to comparisons… Interactions in Canada on a bus or on the street often result in people doing everything in their power to avoid eye contact with one another and if you do decide to stare you had better not get caught. India on the other hand is a different story, people will stare until their eyes start to water, and even then I am not sure they would look away. I can remember last year when I was here, trying to use my “Canadian ways” by looking at the person in the hopes they would look away embarrassed, instead they always smiled back at me happy that I acknowledged their gaze. Being on time is definitely something that is a strong aspect of Canadian culture and it is considered utterly disrespectful to leave someone waiting or to waltz into work 15 minutes late (although I do know people who do this :)). Work has been interesting in this regard as I arrive 5-10 minutes early, only to come into an office that is practically deserted, and does not reach its full capacity until perhaps 10:30 (work starts at 10).

To be honest the more I reflect on this topic the more difficult I feel it becomes as I realize how many cultures exist within Canadian ‘culture’. As mentioned previously, the differences between francophone and anglophone, as well as the differences between Alberta (where I am from) and Ontario, in particular Toronto can be rather stark. So many ways of thinking, being, interacting, it is actually amazing any of us get along at all. Perhaps that is a strength of Canadian culture that we are able to get along despite our difference. Now I am not being ignorant here, I realize there are a lot of people who are not so keen (to put it lightly) to embrace the diversity, but I think as a general rule it seems to be fairly accurate, although probably more so in urban areas. I will use one last comparison to illustrate my point. My first year of university I became friends with a Norwegian girl, who had also lived in France and travelled extensively throughout Europe. I remember a particular conversation with her where she commented on how well people from different backgrounds seem to get along in Toronto in comparison to Europe which seemed to have some very hostile situations between ‘Europeans’ and much of its immigrant population. So I suppose on some level the multicultural propaganda may be somewhat accurate.

I am unsure of how to conclude all this. So I am just going to share a random story. Yesterday morning while I was walking to work, there was a van backing up. Now, in Canada when a van backs up it will often make a beeping noise so as to warn people or other vehicles. This van seemed to have a slightly different approach, as it was backing up to the tune of the titanic theme song. LOL! I love it. Now I definitely know Indian culture is way more musical than Canadian culture and this is a perfect example!